Memorial Gem
Posted in Uncategorized on 09/05/2010 11:10 am by admin
Memorial Gem
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![]() 1999 Proof Lincoln Memorial One Cent Penny Gem Coin US San Francisco Mint US $3.95
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When someone dies, particularly if it's an untimely death, there are no answers that make it all better. There is no cure, and no perfect response to ease the pain that the family is going through. There are only imperfect responses amidst the constant pain that life is going on for others. In that tension, however, is the rough, unpolished gem of truth.
In 1992, I gave birth to a son. It had been a normal pregnancy, and we had been given no preparation for the heart defect that caused our son's death six days after his birth. Matthew's death was an incredibly difficult time, but what made the difference was the outreach of friends who cared. However, one of the most difficult things during that time was the reaction of some who, out of fear of doing the wrong thing, did nothing at all. In fact, the avoidance of us by some people was the most difficult feeling of abandonment that I have ever experienced.
Likewise, when there's been an accident or a tragedy and someone's life is cut short unexpectedly, it's important to remember that the only inappropriate thing to do is nothing. Doing nothing is more painful because it increases the loss. When family or friends are suffering and those around them turn their backs, usually out of fear, it causes isolation from the one thing that is needed most, human contact.
But the other aspect that is often overlooked is that life is still full of to do lists and activity all around. There is a tension created for the family of the loved one that makes this hard even for them to know what to do. Bills still have to be paid, grocery trips have to happen, calendars still have events planned that the family now has to struggle with. Do they attend these events, do the shopping, and go to work, or do they shut down? How does life go on when there is so much pain? And for the friends who don't know how to best help the suffering family, do they still go to their own parties, go on with their to do lists, etc?
I would never chose to go through the loss of a child again, but in the process of walking through that experience, I had some choices to make. I could learn to work through the loss, surrounded by friends who may not have even said anything, but they hugged me or sent a note. They loved on me afresh and walked with me through those day-to-day activities. They helped me to do the work of polishing that rough gem with all of its jagged edges into something that was less painful, smoother, and carried with it a value for life that I would not have known otherwise.
The brilliance of the life we have been given is deeper and more polished with the effort we put into working through our challenges. This doesn't make it easy, but our efforts are part of the solution, whether we are the grieving one, or the one who extends the effort to aid those who are.
You can read more about Camille Rodriquez, author of "When I Die" and creator of "The VEEP Channel," by visiting her websites, http://camillerodriquez.com, or http://theveepchannel.com.
She also serves as the Associate Dean at New College Preparatory Academy and Executive Director of National Homeschool Academy. You can sign up for tips and educational offerings through the school websites, or through The VEEP Channel's "Extra Tools."
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US $175.00































































































