Cent Sharp
Posted in Uncategorized on 01/24/2005 07:40 pm by admin
Cent Sharp
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Flirting is an age-old tradition as well as being a normal human impulse. We have to figure out how to get along with members of the opposite sex (or same, if that's your preference) so we figure out how to attract their attention. Flirting is not just a "courtship ritual", it is also a survival instinct and a necessary component of any healthy relationship. I am a born flirt and I flirt as much with friends of either sex as I do with someone I'm interested in romantically. If nothing else, it's good for practice.
Let's start with the definition and a bit of history about flirting.
Flirt (flurt)
1 [ intrans. ] behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions : it amused him to flirt with her.
• (flirt with) experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously : a painter who had flirted briefly with Cubism.
• (flirt with) deliberately expose oneself to (danger or difficulty) : the need of some individuals to flirt with death.
2 [ trans. ] (of a bird) wave or open and shut (its wings or tail) with a quick flicking motion.
• [ intrans. ] move back and forth with a flicking or fluttering motion : the lark was flirting around the site.
noun
a person who habitually flirts.
ORIGIN mid 16th cent.: apparently symbolic, the elements fl- and -irt both suggesting sudden movement; compare with flick and spurt . The original verb senses were [give someone a sharp blow] and [sneer at]; the earliest noun senses were [joke, gibe] and [flighty girl] (defined by Dr. Johnson as [a pert young hussey] ), with a notion originally of cheeky behavior, later of playfully amorous behavior.
"Flirting", as is obvious by the above dictionary definition, seems to have many different definitions. We can flirt with a person as much as we can "flirt with death". As it was originally a combination of two words, flick and spurt, both of which are short, sharp motions, we can infer from this that "flirting" is intended to be a short encounter. Sometimes this is true, sometimes it isn't. It also seems to have been an insult at one point according to this definition. Today "being a flirt" is considered to be a negative statement by some. There is, in my mind, a very distinct line between flirting and teasing, in both the positive and negative sense of each word. Someone who flirts is trying to get to know another person and even trying to make them feel good about themselves. Flirting is an action that gives both people a "warm fuzzy feeling". A tease is usually someone who is in it solely for themselves and doesn't care if the person they are interacting with ends up being hurt. (Again, this is my personal opinion.)
I would disagree with the top definition in that I think flirting is a very good way to get someone's attention and not just for one's own amusement. I have had very serious relationships come out of what started off as an innocent flirt. I have had just as many enjoyable casual encounters (usually of the non-sexual variety) come from flirting as well.
A point of interest here. Men tend to approach women with the intent of wanting sex. Women tend to approach men to figure out if they're even interested (or interesting) in the first place. Sorry guys, I think we ladies have the better idea here. Far better to take it all in the spirit of being able to get a quick impression and then have the ability to walk away if you so choose than to head in for the kill right away. As described above, flirting can be a quick interaction that allows the formation of a first impression that goes beyond what you would get by saying hello to a stranger then never speaking to them again. Think of flirting as a tool in your relationship forming box that you reach for early and often.
The world needs more good flirts. The hope is that by learning the fine art of flirting, more people will understand how and why this should happen and encourage more flirting, and so on, and so on, and so on.
http://www.theartofflirting.net
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